let go of mom guilt in 30 seconds.

Hey Mama!!

For so long, I carried guilt because of how I was showing up as a mom.

I shamed myself with beliefs like “I am an angry mom” and “I am miserable.”

I used guilt and shame as punishments, so I wouldn’t feel rage…… and let me tell you it only worked for so long.

Last week, I shared a 30 Second Mom Guilt Refresh (which you can watch below):

If this sounds like you, I need you to know… that you are NOT A BAD MOM.

This belief of “I am Bad,” “I am angry,” or “I am miserable,” is only keeping you stuck in this ugly cycle.

So, how do you STOP Shaming + Guilting yourself??

In the ​video​, I walk you through the 30 second refresh, but today… I want dive a little deeper into self-empathy.

I believe that self-empathy is the missing link in truly stopping the cycle.

Having empathy for yourself may feel challenging… or maybe even like a far off dream!! And both of these feelings are normal when you are stuck in a guilt/shame cycle.

Self-Empathy requires us to be in tune with our bodies.

It’s when we can deeply understand and acknowledge without judgement what’s going on in our inner world.

There are a few steps that have helped me to engage in the process of gaining self-empathy:

#1 Taking time to BE with my Body, so I can hear and see my inner world.

This often looks like sitting on the ground with my hands on my heart or if I have a moment while the kiddos are playing, I will curl up in my chair and just close my eyes.

#2 Observing without Judgement

While your mind is RACING… try to acknowledge the thoughts with out adding judgement to them.

Example…

Thought – I hate that I yelled at the kids this morning.

Judgement – What a stupid way to handle that.

Try this instead – I know I was feeling overwhelmed this morning, I had a lot going on.

#3 Noticing What I’m Feeling + Needing

If you are unfamiliar with Feelings/Needs, I highly recommend doing a bit of research about Non-violent Communication!

This is where I’m noticing what I observed and tuning into my body, to help me get to the root of what I’m feeling.

I know that all feelings are linked to needs, so I will do a bit of digging to help understand what my unmet need is.

#4 Is there something doable that would help you fill the need?

Keep this step very simple and small. Think of something actionable that would get you closer to having your need met.

Anyhow, I hope this email brought you some peace and guidance in how to work through guilt and begin the journey to self-empathy…… Happy Parenting ❤️

-Alexis