the only way to be a happy mom

Hey Mama!

In the middle of rage, I wish someone told me that it didn’t ALWAYS have to be this way.

That with tools, resources and some inner work, I could become the patient and regulated mom… that I thought I would be.

In last week’s video, I shared the ONE THING that actually helped me to find TRUE happiness in motherhood (watch below):

One of my subscribers, left the community because she felt the image of “don’t waste their childhood” was purposefully shaming mothers.

My heart sank when I read this. Becuase you guys know… I WOULD NEVER want a mother to feel shame.

The reason I used this image was because so many moms comment, email, and share with me in sessions that they “don’t want to waste their child’s childhood.”

So, today we are going to shed some light on shame. 

Which phrase do you find yourself saying?

– I am bad?

– I made a mistake?

One of these phrases is SHAME and the other is GUILT.

Shame keeps us stuck in our Anger/Rage -> Shame -> Repeat cycle.

Guilt motivates us to do better.

Say the phrases above… 

– I am bad (feels icky… and leads us to shame)

-I made a mistake (feels sad.. and leads us to guilt)

Our perception.. our patterns… and what was modeled to us as a child determines whether we have a thought of guilt or shame.

So, when this viewer shared with me that she felt shame, so she unsubscribed… this made total sense to me. There was no offense taken.

Her response to the image was shame… instead of guilt.

Knowing the difference and catching the thought REALLY matters.

That’s why I have an entire lesson on this in the Calm Mama Blueprint.

Needless to say, the old me would have felt defensive and hurt by the fact that subscriber decided to unsubscribe.

That’s the beauty of this work. It doesn’t just impact your kids, it changes how your relationship with everyone in your life.

Because parenting is about teaching our children how to thrive in the world. One (major) element of this is how to be in relationship with others.

But, we need to know how to do this ourselves.

Hope you have a good rest of your week!

-Alexis